1. When it comes to food you can get your humans to bend over
backward to please you. First you have to let them think that you are a fussy eater. This
will make them try every type of cat food that is available on the supermarket and
butcher's shelf.. One day just for fun, when they offer you something new, eat it with all
the enthusiasm you can muster. Smack your lips together and purr very loudly. After that
keep an eye on the pantry. I can guarantee that your human will rush out and buy a dozens
tins or ten kilos of whatever it was you pretended to enjoy so much. Then when your human
gives it to you again don't go within three feet of it. Sniff it from afar and then turn
and walk away from it. This is a great joke to play on them.
2. Getting even with humans is fun too. If you are in the bad
books for some slight misdemeanour and you want revenge here is a good tip for you. Just
wait until your humans get some really important guests visiting. Then go to your litter
tray and fill it with the biggest, smelliest whoopsie that you can possibly manage. This
really isn't very ladylike but it's one of my favourites.
3. All cats like to throw up now and then, but it is important
to know where to do it. Never do it on a vinyl or tiled surface or anywhere where it is
easily cleaned up. Never do it in just one spot, make sure you walk around and do a little
in several places. The best places are beds, chairs and carpet. If you can manage it,
right next to the bed while your human is asleep is ideal. They really hate it when they
hop out of bed in the morning and put their bare foot right on it.
4. At all times make sure you get enough attention. Whatever
your human is doing make sure you get in between them and what it is they are doing. For
example; if they are reading the newspaper make sure you sit right in the middle of it, or
better still get under it and roll on your back and kick it and bite it . If they are
reading a book hop in between their face and the book and then rub the corner of your
mouth over the corners of the book and put your bottom right in their face.. Any sort of
craft work is fun. Offer to help by pushing around any bits and pieces with your paws and
pounce on and kill any furry, woolly or just plain interesting items. Don't let them
ignore you when they are writing. Bite the top of the pen to get their attention and if
this doesn't work then just lie down on the paper. Computers are my favourite. I like to
sit between the humans and the monitor, or sleep on the mouse mat, or simply walk back and
forth over the keyboard. Printers are great too! Try catching the paper as it comes out.
5. If you sleep in your human's bed here are some handy tips.
Save your grooming for your human's bed time. Give yourself a thorough washing for at
least an hour. Sleep on their pillow right next to their face and purr loudly. Or take up
as much as the bed as you can until they are sleeping on the outer ten percent of the bed.
Alternatively, you can snuggle up to them as close as possible to prevent them rolling
over. Never lie length ways on the bed, make sure you lie across it ensuring that you take
up the greatest possible space.
6. Always anticipate where your human is going to walk and dart
in front of them. Running between their legs as they walk is a great game, especially at
night if they get up for a little nocturnal visit to the bathroom and don't switch the light
7. If your human has visitors make sure you check them all out.
Decide which of the visitors dislikes cats the most (all cats instinctively know which humans don't like
them) then go and sit on their lap and give them a good licking. Alternatively, if your
owner wants to show you off to a visitor, go and hide under a bed and don't come out no
matter how much your human calls you. You can also do this when a you detect that a visit
to the vet for a nasty needle is imminent.
8. Watch your human carefully when they are sitting on a chair.
The minute they get up to do some small task hop onto the chair, curl up and go to sleep
immediately. The chair will be nice and warm. When the human returns to their chair, I
have found more often than not that your human will not disturb you and they will find
another chair to sit on. This is really good in multiple cat households. The cats have all
the chairs and the humans sit on the floor or perch on the corner of coffee tables.
9. The best hours for play are just before dawn. The best games
to play are; pouncing on anything that moves in your human's bed, galloping up and down
the hallway or getting the wardrobe door open and climbing up the shelves knocking things
down as you go. When you get hungry after this activity wake your human and ask for
breakfast. Don't get too close to your human when you demand your breakfast. I have found
that human's are in an unpredictable mood at this time of the morning.
10. Finally, give your human lots of love and cuddles, BUT,
only when you want them. Follow your human around and demand cuddles and attention until
they give you what you want. When your human wants a cuddle pretend you are far too busy
with some other important activity like washing your face.
Different breeds of cats
with pictures, description and information on each of the listed domestic cat